Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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