Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
