A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
