Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
