yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
