I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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