For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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