somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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