I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
