Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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