he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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