I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
