Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
