Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
