I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
