I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
