Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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