You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
