Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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