im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
