Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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