Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
