we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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