All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
