Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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