I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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