Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
