I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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