Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
