Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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