how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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