like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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