I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
