I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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