I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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