Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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