Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
