he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
