I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
