remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why do cheetos always look like penises
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
