dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
