Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
