: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
