8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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