wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
