i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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