i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
