Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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