i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
