tell your sister to shave her snatch
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
