Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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