He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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