I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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