that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize