I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
