Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
