so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize