My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
