She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
