you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
