from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize