So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Someone signed my nipple.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
