Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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