Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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